Reclaim Your Crown
by KayUndae
Summary: "Rick, please, I promise you if you let us go we will never cross paths again. I made a promise to her that I would do something, I can't do it if I'm dead." Gareth makes the ultimate mistake of overestimating Rick Grimes, however, one person could save him from himself if he can overcome his guilt. (Part Two of Two Part Series)
1. Four Walls And A Roof

**Well, its been a while.**

**I haven't written a proper fanfic in years, but now at university I really wanted to try and get that passion back. So here it is, a sequel to a fanfic I had plans for for years. While I never finished the original, you can still read it and it'll make logical and chronological sense with this one. The only change is my writing style and the name of April's daughter. **

**I really love the walking dead, but man, I dropped off the series in I think season 7? I just lost interest. I know most spoilers because I couldn't avoid them. So, if I don't reference anything passed Negan's appearance its because I haven't seen it, nor will this fic follow closely with the plot of the series apart from some things because really, I haven't liked where the series has gone. I know some have said the new season has been way better so I may try and get through it eventually.**

**This fic is inspired by Lauren Aquilina's song 'King'. The previous was inspired by her song 'Fools'.**

**Feedback is appreciated, I would love to see how I've changed in the last few years. I will attempt weekly uploads. **

* * *

The stumps where his fingers used to be throbbed painfully. Blood oozed out of them, the rest of his hand slick with red as he cradled those nonexistent fingers in his lap. Chest heaving, his mind numb, he had begged but of course it fell on deaf ears.

Rick Grimes had made a promise after all.

He had laughed at that. How could he not? All of them had been tied up and dumped beside the trough ready to be battered. How was he to know Rick fucking Grimes was too stubborn to die. But he should have known. Known by those piercing eyes of his because he had seen those eyes before. Christ, he wished he could see those eyes again. Just for a second.

He swallowed down whatever pride he had left and looked directly into the calm eyes of Rick Grimes. He hadn't begged enough, not nearly enough. He had his own promise to keep and he would be damned if he didn't try to keep it now.

"When they came...they took everything. They took someone from me. She played along despite what they did, god what they did to her, but she did it for us. She was better than me. She was so much stronger. Rick, please, I promise you if you let us go we will never cross paths again. I made a promise to her that I would do something, I can't do it if I'm dead."

Silence. Then a primal chuckle.

"That's funny, because I made you a promise too."

His eyes darted to the bright red handle, watching as it was slowly unsheathed by a steady hand. Fear engulfed him. He screamed out, willing his body to move backwards away from death. The sounds of a knife gouging in and out of flesh filled his ears.

But no pain hit him, no more so than the pain in his fingers.

He opened his eyes to see a girl standing in front of him. Not Rick. This girl with blonde hair that was almost white, with eyes as green as freshly mowed grass, took tiny steps towards him. Every time a knife or the butt of a gun hit his companions she would flinch, but she continued towards him. Rick made a move to grab her, to keep her close, but apparently he was as confused as Gareth was and simply watched. Then, as graceful as a child could be, she knelt down beside him and asked something in the quietest whisper he had ever heard.

"_What was her name?_"

He blinked. Could he even remember her name anymore? But as he stared at this little girl, saw those eyes glittering hopefully, like a hammer being slammed against his head it came to him.

"Her name was April," he replied softly. He heard the girl audibly gasp, could see her little body shake. He leaned forward ever so slightly, painfully aware of Rick's groups watching his every move. "Are you her daughter? Are you Hayden?"

She nodded.

He cackled, he couldn't help it, the irony that the one person he needed to find was with Rick fucking Grimes all along was too much. This world really did hate him. It startled Hayden so much she got up and ran to stand beside Tyreese, the man's big arms engulfed her. The silence was deafening as his companion's body slumped to the floor of the church, it didn't matter who anymore. He could hear April's judging words inside his head, could feel her sharp knife against his throat at what he had become. None of it mattered anymore.

Authoritative footsteps stomped towards him. He shook his head as his manic laughter subsided. "Looks like you kept my promise for me Rick," he said, "guess you can kill me now."

With his head bowed low he couldn't see Rick's glance at Hayden, nor how his face scrunched up in frustration at not knowing what to do. Rick could feel everybody else's eyes on him, willing him to do what needed to be done, but two separate pairs were telling him something different. He growled and raised the red-handled machete, eyeing the exposed skin of Gareth's neck. He wanted to, wanted to butcher him like _they_ had done to so many others. It didn't matter if it was a church, it was just four walls and a roof no different to the slaughterhouse in Terminus. His glare caught sight of a chain against Gareth's neck, ever so faint and close to snapping.

With a single flick of his arm the red butt of the machete slammed against Gareth's head and he hit the floor with a graceless thud.

"What the hell are you doing?" Abraham bellowed.

Rick bit the insides of his cheek. "He might be useful. If any other people from Terminus managed to survive we can use him as leverage."

"Rick," Sasha mumbled, "After what they did to Bob...are you serious?"

Rick shook his head. "Sasha, trust me, I want this son of a bitch dead as much as you, but like I said he could be useful to us. As soon as he isn't, you can do what you want with him."

That seemed to placate them for now at least. Rick wiped his sweat-dripped head with his sleeve. He really hoped this was the right decision. "We need to find something to tie him down."

* * *

_Fuck_.

His head hurt bad. The smell of blood and sweat violated his nose.

Gingerly, his eyes opened to the blurry blinding light from a boarded-up window.

Morning already. He tried to move but immediately felt a burning tug against his wrists. He looked to see cold handcuffs around his wrists but also saw them wrapped around a desk leg. The night's events burned inside his head and a jerk reaction erupted in his body. His limbs weren't his own as he tried to yank himself free. He couldn't be tied down again. Couldn't be violated to an inch of his life. _Couldn't bear to not be in control_.

"Don't make me shoot you."

The southern drawl wasn't a man's and wasn't cruel. A woman, Maggie, had a pistol resting at her side and a bottle of water in the other. Seeing the water he suddenly felt how dry and scratchy his throat was.

He just sighed. "I wish you would."

"So you can have an easy way out?"

"No," he answered truthfully, "I just want it to be over. I don't care how. I don't care if Rick keeps his promise. I'm done."

Maggie looked him over. He wasn't lying, she'd seen the look he wore a hundred times over at the prison when new people came, only to end it all days later. She swung the bottle gently in her hand, contemplating, before unscrewing the top and crouching in front of him.

"I don't care if you're done. I care about my sister. She's missing. Daryl saw some people in a car take her and I need to know if you're people ever saw anything."

"You really are desperate if you're talking to me," he sneered but there was just tiredness in his tone, "and no I didn't. Maybe someone else did but seeing as they're all dead, I can't really ask them."

Maggie's eyes hardened. "I ain't asking for much. Anything at all."

Gareth shifted his body to face her as much as he could. "A couple of weeks ago one of our own disappeared out of the blue, maybe it had something to do with whoever took your sister. We went looking but found nothing. Whoever took your sister didn't want you following and for your sake I suggest you forget about her."

The bottle of water was thrown at his chest, the liquid seeping into his lap and pooling onto the floor. Maggie stormed off and slammed the door shut. He rested his heavy head against the desk leg and closed his eyes. The room was too bright. His limbs didn't appreciate the odd angle his body was in and he could feel bruises forming around his wrists.

Hours could've passed by the time he opened them again. His whole body was just too heavy, like his bones were made of iron. The creak of the door opening pricked his ears. He looked to see little Hayden staring at him from the doorway, her little fingers curled around the woodwork.

"You shouldn't be here," he said flatly.

"They're burying Bob."

"Then you definitely shouldn't be here."

Stubbornly, she stepped inside and crossed her arms. He would've smiled if everything didn't ache. Her mangled blonde hair was mainly covered by a tattered beanie, the little tufts curling around the rim, probably cut short so she couldn't be grabbed. Smart. Dressed head to toe in ripped and weather-worn clothes, it was no surprise to see a jacket wrapped around her waist as the day's heat was unbearable.

Seeing her was like seeing a ghost, every little quirk and mannerism was so like April's it was terrifying. Those eyes, those green eyes scared him the most. They judged his very soul.

And then, out of stupidity or bravery, she knelt down in front of him and produced a bottle of water out of her pocket. Her eyes wouldn't meet his as she unscrewed and gently poured a trickle against his lips. He took it graciously, whether he really wanted to or not, he couldn't really protest. The water was disgustingly warm. He hadn't even noticed he drank all of it until she pulled the bottle away and played with it in her hands.

He licked whatever liquid was left on his lips, tasting the tang of blood mixed in with the water. He thanked her.

"You knew my mom," she stated.

"Yeah I did," he answered reluctantly. He couldn't do this conversation right now.

"What happened to her? You said you lost her, where is she?"

That was a punch to his gut. "How old are you now?" He deflected.

She shuffled her feet. "Twelve. I think anyway."

Another punch hit his stomach. "Twelve," he echoed, "Hayden...your mom wanted me to find you if anything bad happened-"

"If she's dead just say it."

He paused. What else could he say but the truth? "She died trying to save us."

He could see the tears filling her eyes, however, these looked like angry tears. "She died trying to save cannibals...that's not my mom."

"Don't say that," he begged as he tried fruitlessly to reach for her, "that wasn't on her. That was on me. I made that choice, alright, I did. She died before _any_ of that happened."

"Why should I believe you?" She snapped.

The accusation stabbed his chest. This little girl was motherless because of him, because of his stupid delusions. Terminus was proof of his delusional belief people could be helped, that people could be good. That sanctuary in this world was possible. The hardest thing for him to admit was that Mary had been right to send April away all those years ago. She should've stayed away. They both made the wrong choices.

"She loved dolphins," he whispered.

He felt it burn against his neck, the dolphin pendant marking his skin. Why had he kept it? A reminder of what people could do? A reminder of what once was? He didn't quite know.

"I have it still, around my neck, you can have it," he said. "Maybe you'll believe me now."

Hayden's eyes softened and was about to step forward when a looming presence appeared in the doorway. Tyreese looked at the scene with confusion.

"Hayden come on, you're not supposed to be here."

Dutifully she complied, sending a tiny smile at Gareth before running past Tyreese. Tyreese on the other hand sent a glare his way. "You don't talk to her," he said, trying to be threatening, but Gareth could see there was nothing threatening about this bear of a man.

"I told her to leave and she didn't listen."

"That's not the point," he hissed, "you don't look at her and you don't talk to her."

"Understood," Gareth spat back.

Tyreese's glare lingered a while longer before shutting the door. The soft _clink_ of a lock echoing in Gareth's ears. At least he would be left alone for a little while. He could secretly hope they would leave him to starve to death.

Wouldn't that be poetic.


	2. Second Chances

_He wrapped his weak arms around Mary, any form of comfort to keep her from wailing. She had curled into Alex's chest hours earlier and had remained the same quivering wreck ever since. _

"_It's o-kay, I-t's okay," he lied._

_Days and nights blended together now. Moonlight and daylight as equally harsh against their fragile bodies as the weeks passed by painfully slowly. Every so often someone would come to the train car and chuck raw meat at them before taking one of the women, even sometimes the men too. Alex had been a favourite for a while until he became too 'submissive'. _

_Gareth hadn't been taken. Sometimes he wished he would. He didn't care what they did to him as long as he could see April, she hadn't been seen since all this started._

"_Gareth."_

_He squeezed Mary's hand tightly with his own. "It's gonna be okay, I'll make it okay."_

"_No," she said through her tears, "it's about April."_

* * *

The sunlight moved steadily around the tiny room as the day stretched on, Gareth had slipped in and out of consciousness for most of it. Someone must have come to treat his fingers at some point as they were now wrapped in bandages, the stumps now feeling bruised and stiff. Periodically he would hear hushed voices come from the church hall, some frantic and others aggressive, surprisingly it was baby Judith that hardly made a sound. Though he guessed Rick was smart enough to keep something so precious away from him, after all, they still believed he wanted to survive this.

He wasn't even sure himself anymore what he wanted. Whatever purpose that kept him going had long since been corrupted, twisted and churned into a false sense of survival. The sad truth of it was that he had broken the promise to find Hayden as soon as he had made it. His mind had been too preoccupied with hunger and revenge.

Whatever happened next, right now he needed to find a more comfortable position to sit in. He tried maneuvering in a type of dance with the handcuffs only to suddenly start feeling a burning sensation in his stomach. Quickly he lurched his head away from his body and vomited what remained of Bob's leg. It looked like a worryingly red colour. The rotten smell left him dry-heaving for what felt like forever. His whole body felt like it was burning.

His mind flashed to what Albert had said before, his young voice frantically looking to him for answers he didn't have.

"_Are we going to die?_"

"_We cooked him, we're fine_."

It was something in the heat of the moment to keep him calm, but he really hoped he was right. Dying by Rick Grimes was one thing, slowly turning into one of the dead things from the inside out sounded a _lot_ worse.

Almost as if he knew, Rick Grimes strolled into the room and towered over Gareth. He wore an amused smile but his eyes didn't share in the humour. "Eat something that didn't agree with you?"

"Must've been the aftertaste."

"Yeah well, suppose eaten someone's whose bitten isn't gonna leave a great aftertaste."

Gareth just glared up at him. "What do you want, Grimes?"

Rick huffed and bent down to his level, purposefully showing off the machete in his hand. At least Rick knew how intimidation worked. "See, Bob told us about what you said to him."

Gareth wore a sneer. "You'll have to remind me, seems I'm suffering from a head injury."

Rick tilted his head sinisterly. _Fuck those piercing eyes_.

"About your group seeing Carol and Daryl drive off. I wanna know where and when."

Gareth huffed a laugh. So this is why he was still alive. "Rick come on, I know if I tell you you'll just kill me. That's the only reason I'm useful."

"Not necessarily," he countered, "we always need someone to carry the supplies. Or, hell, if we ever need bait for walkers you'd do nicely."

"I forgot you call them walkers, seems everyone's got their quirky name for them, but is it really worth the risk keeping me here." Rick's stance faltered a touch. The man was too readable for his own good. "Well, we don't know what happens when someone eats the bitten now do we? What if I turn and hurt your son. What was his name again? Carl, right?"

Like a viper Rick lunged for him, a strong hand clamped around his throat. Gareth choked out a chuckle. "_Don't talk about my son_."

"Or what? I'm on borrowed time right now. I can say anything I want and you won't be any closer to finding that old bitch and redneck."

_Thud_. The machete clattered to the ground and a fist crunched against his cheek. Sweat sprayed across the floor from both men as another punch was thrown. Gareth could hear nothing but ringing in his ears and pain burning his stomach again. He just needed to push a little further.

"What about little Judith? Never had a baby before, bet the meat is _nice and soft_."

That did it. He saw Rick had picked up the machete in the corner of his now swollen eye, raising it above his head as he waited for impact. And for a second time, it didn't. Rick released his grip on him and backed off.

Gareth growled in frustration. "Just fucking kill me already!"

"Then tell me what I want to know!"

"Fine," he snarled, spitting blood out of his mouth, "it was the main road slightly off the path away from the church. Martin saw them chase after some car with white crosses on it just before we came to ambush your people here last night."

Rick nodded his head, satisfied. He unexpectedly uncuffed him then and there. Gareth hissed as he twisted his bruised wrists around, allowing circulation return to the places it hadn't been for hours. Before he could question why, Rick yanked him to his feed by the scruff of his neck and lead him ungraciously out of the church. He saw the pastor on all fours pointlessly scrubbing blood off the floorboards. Gareth barely had time to adjust to the sizzling sunlight as he stumbled to the dirt floor, a puff of dust floating up around him.

"What the hell-"

"We're going for a little walk is all."

He didn't like how calm Rick sounded. Nor did he like having his group's hateful eyes on him. It was too exposing being outside with them surrounding him like vultures. He could sense their urge to rip him apart.

It was Sasha who first said something. "What are you doing?"

"Gareth here is gonna show me which way Carol and Daryl went and then we'll see how useful he really is."

The big ginger bull that was Abaraham decided he didn't like that answer. "I will not wait for you to make some foolish rescue mission. We need to go to DC _now_."

"_Then go_," Rick said, "anybody else?"

No one dared to talk. Rick roughly picked Gareth up and pushed him forward.

He let Gareth lead the rest of the way, every so often poking his back with the sharp machete. His legs barely took his weight as they strolled leisurely. The trees along the road were a succulent green, showing how winter had long passed and eventually Autumn would eat away at them once again. He had preferred winter as a child. Alex would be out building snowmen until his skin was white while Gareth would spend his time watching the snow float down from the window, completely hypnotised. In the evening, just like clockwork, Mary would make them both hot chocolate. Now winter was the deadliest time of year. It was a matter of what killed you first: starvation or the cold. Though there was always the third option of the dead eating you.

Almost instinctively his eyes darted around for the first sign of anything stumbling around in the forest. Rick seemed to notice.

"I ain't gonna let a walker eat you just yet."

Gareth rolled his eyes. "I don't like your use of 'yet'."

They neared the main road now, Gareth noticed the jugs that Carol had dropped, the same ones he had criticised Martin about for not picking them up. He turned to face Rick as he said, "it was here, they went down that way alright."

Rick nodded his head again, clearly deep in thought about what to do next. Gareth glanced at the machete. Sure he wanted death, but he wasn't _that_ suicidal. He raised his head slightly to feel the cool breeze brushing over his face. It was too quiet. Only the sound of swaying leaves filled the air.

"So you were with April."

Gareth sighed. "Yes I knew her. I don't need to explain myself to you."

"Oh you did plenty of explaining last night, between the begging and crying of course."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's humour your trying to do there," Gareth replied.

Rick chuckled as he bowed his head. The smile instantly fell from his face. "Did she tell you about her sisters?"

"Rick this isn't the time-"

"Oh it is. 'Cause whatever you say next is what decides whether you go back to that church or die here," Rick threatened.

Gareth swallowed. Carefully, he lifted the necklace from around his neck and played with the dolphin pendant in his hand. "She told me about them, her sisters, Andrea and Amy. Amy was her twin and Andrea was her older sister. Amy loved mermaids and April loved dolphins. Andrea wasn't around much while they were growing up." He could feel his chest growing heavy as he squeezed the dolphin tightly in his fist. He sounded so robotic, listing it all off like facts on a presentation. "She loved them. She told me how her and Amy never really made up, she regretted it until the day she died."

Rick just stared as he drank every word, looking for lies or any sign of deceit, but Gareth didn't really care.

"They're dead, right? They wouldn't just leave Hayden with you."

"Yeah," Rick spoke solemnly, "Amy died early on in the outbreak. Andrea lasted a while but...losing Amy broke her. They tried looking out for Hayden the best they could, they were good to her."

"April would be happy knowing that. She was scared that Hayden was alone...or dead."

Rick motioned with the machete as he spoke. "That's what I don't get, why did _you_ promise to find Hayden?"

"That's none of your business."

Rick's lips turned into a snarl as he went to grab Gareth but something else grabbed him.

A Walker roared as it llatched onto Rick and the two fell to the floor. He watched helplessly as Rick used all his weight to keep snapping jaws from chewing on his throat. The red-handled machete landed at Gareth's feet. He didn't even think as he picked it up and with all his strength forced the blade into the Walker's skull. Brain residue splattered over his face as the rotten corpse gurgled before going limp. Rick hatefully pushed the damned thing away from him and rose shakily to his feet. That was too close.

Gareth looked down at the little translucent dolphin clutched in his shaking hand. April would be screaming at him about how much of an asshole he was or throw some psychology at him. She was _very_ good at that.

He outstretched his hands towards Rick, the necklace and the machete. "Just give it to Hayden, let her have something from her mom."

Rick again seemed amused by that. He was still gasping for breath as he stood directly in front of Gareth, his slightly elevated height coming in handy as he pushed the hand towards Gareth's chest. "You do it."

Gareth's eyebrows creased. "What?"

Rick shrugged. "I'm not gonna deal with Hayden's wrath. Plus you'd still make pretty good Walker bait."

And like that Rick took the machete back and walked off towards the church, expecting Gareth to just follow him. He wiped the brain residue from his face and cursed internally. Rick had him now. He knew what his purpose was without even Gareth himself knowing.

Like a lost puppy, he reluctantly followed Rick.

* * *

"_That's not possible."_

_Gareth paced the train car like a mad man, barely turning around just before his head smacked against the iron wall. Mary had to forcefully grab his face to keep him still, her eyes shining with her own nightmarish madness as he nails dig deep into his skin. _

"_It's true. That's why they took me this time when they haven't for days, because they thought I would know how to...find out."_

_He shook his head. "What the hell do you know about checking a pregnancy?"_

"_I don't," she said, "but I didn't need to as she's already showing a bump."_

_Mary's crazed smile said it all. He backed away from her. "No she can't yet, they've only been in control for-"_

"_Four weeks maximum," Mary finished. Her hands folded instinctively around her body as she tried to protect herself from an invisible violation. "Which means it has to be yours Gareth."_

_He couldn't be. _

_No. _

_He couldn't be a father. _

"_Mom," Gareth whimpered, "they'll kill her and the baby."_

_Tears welled in his eyes, he had barely enough hydration to cry. The train car's other occupants watched the scene silently. Nobody was going to celebrate. His brother Alex stood up and hugged him close, Gareth's arms not even reciprocating. _

"_Luckily these men are too dumb about things like this. At the moment they think it's the leader's kid and it's going to stay that way. They'll want me as her midwife. She can help us work out an escape plan."_

_Gareth had never seen such fire in her eyes before. She had been the one to send April away the first time, now, she wanted to use her and their baby to escape. It was sick._

_And yet it was the only way. _

"_Promise me you'll keep them both safe."_

"_I will try," she answered firmly._


	3. Sweet Treats

**Slightly shorter chapter as I have an assessment coming up, the next one will be longer**

* * *

By the time the two arrived back at the church, a large school bus was parked outside it. Gareth guessed by Rick's quiet growling that this school bus was not part of the plan. He kept pace as Rick sped up and watched intently as Abraham puffed his chest, ready for what confrontation was about to take place. Others came out of the church to see the spectacle as well.

"What are you doing Abraham?"

"Going to DC just like I said. We've waited long enough and anymore waiting could jeopardise this whole operation."

Rick harshly jammed a finger against the iron chest. "They're coming back and we're _not_ leaving without them. I thought I made that clear last night."

"Rick," Maggie interrupted, "Glenn and I are going with them."

_Interesting_, Gareth thought. If the group was being cut in half he had a better chance of making an escape. A high-pitched whining sound cut through the silence. He glanced towards the church and saw Hayden staring at him, little Judith clutched close to her chest. Her body tensed up as she stormed passed him toward Rick.

"She wants you," she said, "even Carl couldn't calm her down."

As Rick gently took Judith into his arms and cradled her he felt a twang of jealousy stab his chest. He hadn't thought about it in so long but now seeing Judith's toothy smile, so disgustingly loving, that he had to look away stop his vision from spinning.

He swallowed down the bitterness the best he could. "If you're gonna continue to argue maybe I'd like to be handcuffed back inside."

"That can be arranged," Sasha hissed. Her hand was resting atop a crudely made wooden cross, if Gareth had to hazard a guess he would guess it was Bob's grave.

"No," Rick said, pausing to gently push a tiny hand away from his mouth, "he's earned some food and freedom. For now."

Gareth nodded his head in acceptance and headed straight for the church. His head was still spinning and he had to grab a pew with a sway hand just to keep himself upright. He knew what Rick was doing, giving him this taste of freedom just to test him. If he ran, he was dead. If he stayed, Rick's theory would be right. Most people were outside arguing about who was going and who was staying, it was a surprise the shouting didn't attract the dead.

Gareth could see Carl packing a bag inside the little office, likely Judith's things if Rick planned on moving on. Beside him was Hayden, the two of them whispering and chuckling together, Carl completely oblivious to the look of adoration she shot his way. He felt a smirk ghost onto his face. It hurt. The universe really wasn't done messing with him.

His stomach made a loud gurgling sound, he was so used to it he barely registered it anymore, but it alarmed the two kids so much they snapped their heads towards him. Carl moved Hayden behind him, purposefully showing off the pistol in his hand.

Gareth rolled his eyes. "I'm not gonna do anything kid. Your dad would string me up for Walker bait."

"Then why are you in here?"

He shrugged. "There was an offer of food."

Carl motioned his pistol towards the piles of cans left on a pew. "You can finish off what's there."

It was better than nothing. He peered into them, seeing a lot of them had been scraped clean, but a couple had some fruit or bits of meat left. "You got a spoon or something?"

"We already packed them away."

Right. He understood. He picked up what was once canned peaches and settled himself on the floor before digging his fingers into the sticky bottom of the can. The dirt on his fingers crunched between his teeth, mixing in with the sweet gloop that was on the verge of being too hard to eat. Table manners didn't matter anymore, food was food.

"Have this."

He looked up to see a candy bar shoved into his face. Hayden's hand was steady even if the rest of her body wasn't.

"I'm not taking candy from a kid, I'm not that evil."

Hayden huffed, stomping her foot. "Just have it, it's better than whatever is in that can."

"I've had worse, and anyway I'm sure your _boyfriend_ wouldn't be too pleased."

Her face scrunched in disgust but her cheeks turned a recognisable red. He shook his head and carried on forcing down the discoloured gloop. But just like her mother, Hayden was stubborn enough to tear open the wrapper and split the chocolate bar in half, forcing the one half into his face. She wasn't going to take no for an answer.

He begrudgingly took it. "Thanks, kid."

The chocolate was just starting to melt so he barely needed to bite on it as his teeth sliced through the creamy treat. He greedily licked his fingers, not even caring if dirt and fruit residue mixed with the chocolate. Hayden sat down opposite and enjoyed her half, eyelids fluttering in pleasure as hers was gone quicker than his. She was still a child at heart.

"Mom hated me eating chocolate," Hayden declared, "said it would rot my teeth. That was until I caught her eating a massive bar to herself one day."

Gareth chuckled as he pictured it, Hayden jumping from behind a wall to point a judging finger at April as she tried to wipe the evidence from her lips. "She never told me that."

Hayden pulled her knees close to her chest, her body swaying back and forth. "What _did_ she tell you about me?"

He nervously ran a hand through his hair. "She didn't really say much," he answered truthfully, "just how much she loved you and how much she wanted to find you."

"She was looking for me?"

Gareth bit the inside of his cheek. "She wanted to, more than anything in the world, but every time she tried some obstacle would get in the way."

"Is that how she met you?"

The old memory flashed behind his eyes. He traced his fingers over the healed marks on his hand. "First time I ever met her she bit me, thinking I was going to hurt her or something, really I was trying to help her with a Walker."

Hayden giggled. "Sounds like Mom alright."

"Yeah," he said, reminiscing, "your mom made her mark on me. Terminus was meant to be a sanctuary for you, you know."

"W-what?" She stammered.

Tears threatened to spill from her emerald eyes. He knew it was now or never as he pulled the necklace out of his pocket. It felt so warm between his fingers.

"I promised her we would find you and Terminus would be your home, be a sanctuary for anyone who needed it," his hand squeezed the pendant so much the sharp edges pierced his skin, "I meant when I said she wasn't any part of what it became. That's on me and me alone."

He uncurled his fist and placed the necklace in her fragile hands. She held it close to her chest as she jumped up and hugged him. His heartbeat quickened, his hands awkwardly outstretched as if touching her back would burn him.

"_Thank you_," she whispered into his ear.

He carefully rested his hands on her back, barely ghosting against the fabric. The warmth of human contact was so foreign to him that his whole body shut down just from her mere touch. He sobbed uncontrollably. White noise filled his head as he saw it, saw what could've been, what wasn't, what those monsters did. He saw himself covered in blood as he animalistically screamed at the night sky, the limp body in his arms as pale as the moonlight. Tiny arms tried to squeeze him tightly, bringing his mind to the present.

"_April would be so proud of you_."

* * *

Rick couldn't help but feel a growing emptiness as he waved off the school bus. Seeing Tara, Maggie and Glenn drive off without them left a sour taste in his mouth. _Anything could happen_, he told himself, _we needed to stick together_.

Michonne rested a comforting hand on his arm. "They'll be alright, they're strong."

"It's not them I'm worried about."

"We'll get Carol and Beth. That kid Noah can help us, you know what Daryl said, we can trust him."

Rick nodded his head. Daryl had arrived in a beat up car only an hour ago, hastily explaining the situation with a stranger in toe. Noah had been with Beth the entire time, telling them all about the cops back in Atlanta. Atlanta. He'd hope to never visit that hellscape ever again.

"I want you to stay here with Judith and Carl, I don't trust that pastor or Gareth to babysit."

Michonne tilted her head. "I thought that 'little walk' was about trusting him. You said it yourself, he won't do anything that might get Hayden killed."

"Yeah well, twenty-four hours ago we were his dinner, I'm not trusting him too soon."

Michonne shared a smile with him. Rick had changed a lot since they'd first met, more cautious, more ferocious when he needed to be. She never doubted his instincts. "Whatever you say, just come back from Atlanta in one piece."

"Yes ma'am." He handed Judith over to her, giving her one last kiss on her tiny forehead. "I'll grab some more things and then we'll be off."

He entered the church to find Hayden squeezing Gareth to death. It was definitely a sight to see. It took Rick a few seconds to process before he laughed loudly, Hayden pulling away like a startled deer. Gareth looked as quickly terrified.

"Looks like you've finally been given the Hayden Hug of approval."

"Yeah," Gareth mumbled, "guess so."

He turned to Hayden. "I think Michonne could use some help with Judith, why don't you run along and help her?"

She glanced between the two men but knew better than to argue, begrudgingly running outside. Rick's smile vanished from his face as he watched Gareth wipe the tears from his eyes. Even the hardest son of bitches he knew cried at least once, it wasn't weakness to, sometimes it was the only thing that showed someone was still human.

He motioned for Gareth to follow him as he walked into the little office. They were both silent as Rick bent down and starting prying away the floorboards. They both knew if Gareth wanted to harm him now was the opportunity, and yet he obediently waited for Rick to pull out a large duffel bag.

"Now I saw you try and shoot in Terminus, you've got a pretty lousy shot, but maybe this'll help you aim better," he said as he pulled out a hunting rifle with a short range scope. The wooden handle wore the scratches of war. "Don't waste the bullets, rifle ammo is hard to come by."

"Why are you giving me this?"

Rick saw the sheer confusion on his face, he physically took steps away from him as if Rick was going to shoot him with it. Maybe it was a stupid idea, maybe it would cost Rick everything by handing it to the ex-cannibal, but Rick had seen the look of jealously burn on Gareth's face when he was holding Judith. He saw the look of a bitter man who had fatherhood ripped away from him. How he knew he wasn't quite sure, but that look was too specific to be anything else.

"Because I know you'll protect Hayden no matter what. Because you wouldn't want what happened to April to happen to her. Because I'm trusting you with my children, and you know what'll happen to you if _anything_ happens to them."

Gareth said nothing. He took the rifle and checked the scope, it was clear and clean. It moulded almost perfectly between his hands. It would do nicely.

"You'll be with Michonne and the pastor. He's a coward so don't trust him. As soon as I find my people we're moving on."

Rick searched Gareth's face for any sign of betrayal. All he saw was a man determined to perform his purpose, even if that purpose was to help the person he despised.

"I'll keep them safe, Rick. Whatever it takes."


End file.
